Resident Evil 3 Part #12 - Episode XII: Resident Evil Too

Part 12: Episode XII: Resident Evil Too

Welcome back. When last we left our heroine, Jill Valentine, she was infected with the T-Virus and is probably a horrifying undead monstrosity chewing on Carlos' neck as we speak. But, forget about that crap. We're playing a new game.

That's right, Resident Evil 2. The widely held as best game in the series, prior to Resident Evil 4's release. Originally released for the Sony Playstation, it saw mildly upgraded ports to the PC, Nintendo 64, Sega Dreamcast, Nintendo Gamecube, and the ill-fated Tiger Game.com. It also had a second upgraded release on the Playstation, as Resident Evil 2: Dual Shock Edition. Which featured support for the newly introduced Dual-Shock controller and rumble support. Also added were a new easy difficulty, as well as a nifty little battle game. This is the version I'll be playing, for no reason other than it's the one I own and the D-pad hurts my thumb.

Resident Evil 2 has the same set-up as Nemesis. Umbrella's fucked up and Raccoon City's gone to shit. This game's plotline has a more direct involvement as to how that came about and is far more interesting as such. This is the final point in the series before things begin getting really batshit. That's not to say there isn't a fair share of

moments, there's a ton. But, we'll find no rocket launcher wielding mutants, midgets, or cross-dressing fruitcakes.

Resident Evil 2 features a unique "zapping" system, in which the two playable characters, Claire Redfield and Leon S. Kennedy, both of whom we're a bit familiar with, can be selected at the start of the game. The game will begin with the selected character and upon completion, a second "Scenario B" will open up for the unused character. This allows a playthrough of the game from their perspective. Claire will meet characters Leon does not and vise-versa. Also, items used and taken in one playthrough will effect the second one in places. The overall plotline also alters a decent amount depending on who the initial scenario is played through with.

For this playthrough, we'll be using Claire for the A Scenario and Leon for the B Scenario. This is the more sensible plot of the two and is just better overall. It also adds an exceedingly creepy subplot we'll get to later. I'll be switching back and forth between Leon and Claire between updates, for the most part. Though, likely cutting out on redundant exploration for the two and whatnot.

Alright, enough boring shit. Let's get this show on the road...

When I bought this years ago, I didn't know what the fuck a "Dual Shock" was. I thought it would be twice as scary or something.

We're treated to a little stand issue recap intro of events thus far. In this case, the only event is Resident Evil 1, so we'll be hearing about that.

By 'outskirts' they mean 'in the middle of fucking nowhere miles away from civilization'.

"It was also revealed the said enterprise was unbelievably incompetent."

Poor Barry gets no love.

"Also their unbelievably colossal, near comical fuck-ups...were far from finished..."

Raccoon City. September 29th...

A lone woman on a motorcycle cruises along the highway.

Visit Scenic Raccoon City! Rape Capital of the Mid-West!

Meanwhile, a solitary jeep enters another part of town. Remember how there was a huge quarantine and military roadblocks? That was fun.

Some scene setting. Remember how the streets were littered with smashed automobiles and half the city was on fire? That was fun too.

The standard heroine intro of a view of their ass.

The biker girl is revealed to be Claire Redfield, who's adventures we saw in a previous thread. Her adventures...in the future!

Meanwhile...

Crows pecking at a corpse in the middle of the road? This is a job only one man can handle...

Leon S. Kennedy! Who you may remember battling albino midgets and rescuing monkey eared future Presidential incumbent daughters.

Leon saunters up to investigate the corpse.

Elsewhere...

A body smashes through a window.

That's no body! It's a man! It was earth all along! Soylent Green is people!

This is said in the tone of mild curiosity as to a address a minor discourtesy. Not "JESUS FUCK HE BIT OFF HALF MY BICEP!!" as, you know, anything within a fifty mile radius of realism would react. This is definitely Resident Evil...

The trucker shrugs shoulders, props the arm hanging on by bone and sinew in reach of his Big Gulp cup, and continues on.

Back to Claire...

"It's 3:00 AM! We're closed! Go away!"

"Please seat yourself, ma'am. Would you like to hear about our specials?"

I could never get my eye to gasp. I can't whistle either. Wonder if that's related.

Back to Leon...

Leon puts his keen policing skills to use and completely contaminates the crime scene by feeling up the stiff.

"Crap, he spotted us! Let's cheese it!"

A look of shock circa 1998...

Good lord! It's Junior High English teachers!

"If a zombie doesn't move, is it truly a zombie? Or is it just another corpse?"

"Oh, man. That's deep."

"Good god! Look at this size of that boot. It's enormous! Do you shop at a specialty store for such a magnificent size?"

"I must touch it. It's glorious. Such a boot could conquer nations in its splendor."

People with foot fetishes creep Leon right the fuck out.

"Tyler sort of chewed off my ears a few hours ago. You'll have to speak up."

"Chaaaaaaaange."

A look of shock circa 1998. Exhibit B.

So, Leon is, at this point, freaked out enough to open fire on what he suspects are bloody unarmed civilians doing nothing more sinister than shambling slowly and moaning. Yet he still questions why a few bullets don't seem to phase them? Thank god this guy didn't apply for a job here last Halloween.

"Alright, lady... Hand over the hugs."

Claire opts to bolt through the back door.

Claire's trying to defend herself with her world renowned armpit funk.

Hey, Leon's gun doubles as a Megaman blaster.

*cough* "Tell...tell my wife... Tell her... Tell her she was...delicious... Braaaaaftteh."

Leon's pick-up lines and creepy rapeface expression weren't any better in 1998.

Leon spots a cop car. Since the two vehicles within fifty feet with a straight shot out of town are apparently insufficient.

"No, really. I'm a cop. I'd have to give you a ticket. It's up to like $35 in this state."

Oh, come on, Leon. You ought to know better!

"Did you see the gas prices at the Taxaco?!"

Leon gets all kinds of pissy driving if he doesn't have easy listening Country or spicy Salsa music blaring.

"Yeah. Well... Of a sort..."

So, did they just mail Leon his uniform? Was he already living in Raccoon City and just decided to take a trip to Vegas for the weekend, came back, and it's zombie holocaust? Or did he make it himself, seeing as nobody else on the force has a remotely similar uniform?